| |
| Author |
Message |
| Glamdring |
 Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 12:07 am |
|
|
|
Joined: 13 Oct 2006
Posts: 575
Location:
|
Here’s a story I wrote a long time ago. I was just wondering if you would be interested in it. (Warning: it is a pretty long story, so make sure you have enough time on you hands to read it)
Pizza Worth Fighting for
The sound of red - breasted cardinals tweeting in the luscious emerald courtyards of gardens in Nottingham. The King awoke, sniffed the aroma of the fragrant air until he sensed the warmth of his royal Italian chefs working day and night for his cravings of Italian style pizza. He smiled happily, changed into his royal robe of golden threads and soft, white, creamy silk tights. He quickly scrambled downstairs to find an Italian chef hurriedly crossing the marble hallway attending kitchen duties. “Halt!” demanded the King. The chef stopped suddenly turned to face the demanding King a hair’s breath away. “What would your majesty require of me?” asked the chef politely while hoping the King was not furious with him. “ I would like to know if my breakfast is ready. You know, four pizzas with pepperoni ham, cheese and tomatoes, a flagon of ale, four chocolate chip scones and a banana on my golden plates, platters and golden silverware.” The chef relieved of what the King ordered him to do, smiled satisfactorily and hurriedly rushed off do what the King ordered him to do. In the mean time, the King sat on his velvety cushion on his imperial marble throne. He glanced around the wooden table, glimpsed at his golden - plated watch, and then noticed a letter in a white vanilla envelope with a red satin bow tied expertly around it. The King peeked at the white envelope, sniffed it, and then opened it very cautiously. He then extracted out the contents inside, and read it, looking very solemn and grave. His face turned colorless as he delicately put it in the vanilla envelope, then glanced around so that no one was watching, threw it on the marble floor and then stomped on it like a infuriated mad organism. In the mean time, the pressured Italian servant approached the king’s dining corridor and suspiciously opened the weighty door. He peered around, then sighed with relief as he quietly and quickly paced his way up to the dining table on the cool marble floor, and set the king’s royal cuisine on the engraved cedar table. As the servant was leaving, he spotted the king’s letter mashed to pulp on the floor. Curious, the servant picked up the squashed letter and read:
Dear King Longhanks of the northern land,
We wish to inform you that THERE WILL BE WAR IF YOU DON’T SHARE YOUR ITALIAN CHEFS WITH US!!!!!!.
If you do not wish for war, well, give me your servants to me on the day of thanksgiving. (Then you will really have something to be thankful about!!) Make sure they bring their favored recipes and proper manners FOR ME!!! If you do not give me your chefs, well, you will die with hunger for Italian pizza with pepperoni, cheese, and sauce like heaven itself. Imagine, never having crisp bacon or cheese melting over the golden pizza with freshly baked pepperoni, as you bite into the crunchy crust you can feel the sensation of pizza in your nose as you whiff the smell coming through your nostrils and your mouth begins to water, you will crave for expertly mastered pizza of well - trained Italian chefs !!!
Your royal friend,
King González Márquez
The servant gasped, and put the squashed letter on the marble floor where he saw it last, then quickly rushed out of the corridor without out a sound. In the meantime, the King, in the respiratory room, forcefully opened the respiratory door and slammed it with a nauseating crash. The door’s hinges groaned slowly as the door boisterously collapsed with a crunch. The king coughed as dust poured and stifled him with smothering dust. Enraged, the king kicked his engraved table and yelped as he stubbed his toe with a smack. Howling with madness, the King went around the room striking and demolishing everything he took hold of. Frightened at the King’s anger the servants in the kitchen hurriedly worked faster as they heard crashes and yelling. All of the servants made certain that it would be better if they all stayed down in the royal kitchen. Exasperated, after all that yelling and self-indulgent behavior, the King sat down exhausted with a feathery fan in his royal hand and fanned himself as he felt beads of hot sweat seeping down his round head. As he fanned himself, he thought of a way to write a letter to respond to King González Márquez without a battle and without losing his precious servants. Mean while, King González Márquez strolled through his corridors yelling at the top of his lungs, " Get the catapults ready! Line up soldiers, you don’t want to act like you don’t know anything! You are my soldiers not flea bags! GET IN LINE!!!! Meanwhile, feeling better as the King fanned himself, the King picked up a quill ostrich feather and began to mark the papery papyrus:
Dearest King González Márquez,
I know you want my servants pretty awful, but I determined that you can possess half of my servants, so we can share our bounties as genuine Kings. I know you don’t want war so please listen to my advice.
Gracias González Márquez,
King Longhanks
King Longhanks decided to confirm that if that rebel, King González Márquez, would choose battle, then he would be ready for his fierce skirmishes. Meanwhile, the sound of croaking wheels and marching soldiers echoed throughout the chilly and blistering air. King González Márquez sat scrunched up as he guided the battalions on his beloved chestnut thoroughbred war - horse who was in all it’s frightening armor. King Márquez cackled as he thought of how effortless winning the servants would be. He chuckled another time, this time you could hear his voice filled with jealousy as it floated and echoed a raspy voice throughout the freezing air.
Back in Nottingham, King Longhanks hurriedly paced in and out of the corridor, anxious and impatient to receive the King’s reply. So worried about what González Márquez would do, he decided to consume a scrumptious table full of freshly baked Italian pizza. In the meantime, González Márquez’s glorious army marching through the chilly air and stopped on a hill about 10 miles away from Nottingham palace. "All right you soldiers, we will camp here tonight. Bundle up, It will be a cold and wintry night." Just as he finished saying that, a vigorous wind propelled Márquez off his mighty horse. (If you were there, you would probably hear the soldiers saying, "Can I borrow a sweater from you?") Furiously, González Márquez emerged from the mucky mud and slapped his horse. Irritably shouting at his horse, King Márquez waded through the mucky brunette sludge and ruthlessly punched a doomed soldier who was sniggering. "There will be order throughout my army!" Screamed King González Márquez at the top of his lungs. Crimson in the face, the King snarling and screeching began heavily smacking everybody in his way. The knocked out soldier, looked up and stated, " Loks fike Noddinlam iz havin’ a partee and doin’ firezvorks!"
Back in Nottingham castle, King Longhanks, stuffed as a turkey in thanksgiving, strained to get out of his royal golden throne. Heaving, he walked out of his eating room and slowly moved his chubby being to his workplace and began scratching a note to King González Márquez :
Dear King González Márquez ,
This letter is to tell you what my decision is. If you kill me, I will go to heaven were there is more pizza than you can ever imagine, even more than here. And why don’t you go buy your own Italian chefs from Italy??? Italy is just two miles from here Mr. lazy. If there is not any chefs there I can give you half of mine.
Signed,
King Longhanks
Shivering in the cold wintry snow, the soldiers trying to line up straight, all wished for King González Márquez to appear and tell them what they are going to do next. Carefully, one of the soldiers was trying to light a bright hot flame of fire, grew angry as gusts after gusts of cold wintry air snuffed out the flame. Finally after 100 tries, that soldier spitting and fuming, shouted, "Why are we here in the winter? We are supposed to fight, not act bored and get frozen to death!!! Let’s just leave, there is no excitement here!!!" Murmurs of approval came from the soldiers as another cold wintry blast of air came and almost knocked some of them over. Fingers numb, all the soldiers agreed, started packing up their bags and anxious to leave the cold, marched angrily down to their homes, because of their waste of time. In the meantime, King González Márquez, snoring up a storm, suddenly awaked by a galloping horse approaching his camp. Hurriedly, the King scrambled around his leather tent to find his cotton clothes. The approaching rider tied his horse to a snow covered pine tree, and made his way up to King González Márquez’s leather tent and exclaimed that there was a reply from King Lonhanks. Smiling wickedly, González Márquez stepped out of his tent boasting on how he won the war. Still smiling, González Márquez received the white envelope and began to open it furiously. While reading, his face turned ashen as he read the horrifying letter. Howling with madness, the King yelled at the top of his lungs hitting and banging every tree he could find. Still mad, the King looked around and saw all the soldier’s tents gone and left. Even angrier than before the King ripped his tent to shreds and went to go live in the woods the rest of his horrible life. He was known as the madman of mountains. And King Lonhanks lived happily ever after.
-Glamdring- |
Great minds think alike.~CarpeGuitarrem
Rangers will rule the World!! (CC's Official Ranger Lover)
My Haves/Wants Please look!!
...much debate much hard feelings. ~SOP |
|
| Back to top |
|
| sickofpalantirs |
| Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 11:56 am |
|
|
|
Joined: 23 Mar 2006
Posts: 7750
Location: somwhere, over the rainbow way up high. There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby.
|
| its weird and not quite as good as YSF’s but still worth a GP. |
 Sop's haves/ top wants
(mm)"SoP: you will always be the Official CC Spammer in my heart"
"DáinIronfoot"
Spammers really are amazing creatures. You can learn all there is to know about their ways in a month. And yet, after a hundred years, they can still surprise you.  |
|
| Back to top |
|
| Glamdring |
| Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 11:23 pm |
|
|
|
Joined: 13 Oct 2006
Posts: 575
Location:
|
sickofpalantirs wrote: its weird and not quite as good as YSF’s but still worth a GP.
Thanks, I didn’t expect it to be read at all. I just thought it would funny to post it. 
(thanks for the GP!) |
Great minds think alike.~CarpeGuitarrem
Rangers will rule the World!! (CC's Official Ranger Lover)
My Haves/Wants Please look!!
...much debate much hard feelings. ~SOP |
|
| Back to top |
|
| NBarden |
| Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 2:28 am |
|
|
|
Joined: 28 Dec 2006
Posts: 5468
Location: I don't know...
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
All times are UTC - 4
|
|
Forum index » General Discussion » Members' Lounge
Interesting...
