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| sickofpalantirs |
 Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 1:15 pm |
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Joined: 23 Mar 2006
Posts: 7750
Location: somwhere, over the rainbow way up high. There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby.
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American Corporation
You have two cows. You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating that you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
French Corporation
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch. Life is good.
Japanese Corporation
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times as much milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them world-wide. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
British Corporation
You have two cows. Both are mad.
Italian Corporation
You have two cows but don’t know where they are. You break for lunch.
Russian Corporation
You have two cows. You count them again and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have forty two cows. You count them again and learn you have twelve cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of Vodka.
Swiss Corporation
You have 5,000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Israeli Corporation
You have two cows. The Palestinans have six cows. The Palestinians don’t like your cows grazing on their land, they say. They send in a suicide cow that kills one of your cows. You send in your bull to clear out their attack cows so your cows can be safe. Their bull retaliates. Your bull tramples him and several Palestinan cows caught in the open. CNN makes millions reporting on the carnage.
Taliban Corporation
You have two cows. You turn them loose in the Afghan "countryside" and they both die. You blame the godless American infidels.
A Christian
You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
A Democrat
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who put a tax on your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara Streisand sings for you.
A Republican
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
A Communist
You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.
Democracy, American Style
You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.
Capitalism, American Style
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull and build a herd of cows.
European Unionism
You have two goats. The EU declares them to be fruit in order to conform to a rare Belgian custom of making Cow Jam (jam being required to have at least 45% fruit).
Hungarian Corporation
You have two cows, grazing somewhere in the puszta. You get ahold of them, butcher them to the sound of czardas violins and popping wine corks, singing along. The cows are fried and cooked, delievering premium gulyas. After a week of heavy mulyatsag partying, you blame the Austrians for having stolen your cows.
United Nationism
You have two cows. France vetoes you from milking them. The United States and Britain veto the cows from milking you. New Zealand abstains.
Nazism - the government shoots you and takes both cows.
New Dealism - you slaughter one cow, milk the other and pour the milk down the drain.
Indian Corporation
You own 2 cows. You see that America has many cows that feel they are overworked and underpaid. They demand raises and are fired. You let the americans outsource their cows jobs to your cows who are paid lower wages and don’t complain. you use the money to buy a bull and get many cows, which the Americans outsource jobs too. |
Last edited by sickofpalantirs on Wed Jul 25, 2007 12:52 pm; edited 1 time in total Sop's haves/ top wants
(mm)"SoP: you will always be the Official CC Spammer in my heart"
"DáinIronfoot"
Spammers really are amazing creatures. You can learn all there is to know about their ways in a month. And yet, after a hundred years, they can still surprise you.  |
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| corvus |
| Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 1:42 pm |
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Joined: 13 Oct 2006
Posts: 1696
Location: Roaming, but dangerous!!!
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Should i post my different kinds fo metal story then?  |
Click here if you want to trade some foils away 
Far, Far beyond the island we dwelt in shapes of twilight
Through draught and weary days
Through grief and endless pain |
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| Turin06 |
| Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 2:02 pm |
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Joined: 24 Oct 2006
Posts: 197
Location: Good Question
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| Genius pure genius |
Between the conception
And the creation
Between the emotion
And the response
Falls the Shadow |
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| Celebrimbor |
| Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 2:04 pm |
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Joined: 12 Sep 2006
Posts: 953
Location: UNKNOWN
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Nazism - the government shoots you and takes both cows.
New Dealism - you slaughter one cow, milk the other and pour the milk down the drain.
Add these!  |
My Trading List
Popcorn is not gooey like fat, and also not crunchy like potato chips, but crispy like lettuce which makes it a healthy snack.  |
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| Glamdring |
| Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 2:22 pm |
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Joined: 13 Oct 2006
Posts: 575
Location:
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Really funny. Why did you choose cows instead of anything else?  |
Great minds think alike.~CarpeGuitarrem
Rangers will rule the World!! (CC's Official Ranger Lover)
My Haves/Wants Please look!!
...much debate much hard feelings. ~SOP |
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| Shieldmaiden |
| Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 2:32 pm |
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Joined: 07 May 2007
Posts: 389
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
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I’ve seen this many times before, in other places (and a couple of different forms), but it’s still good!  |
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| Felipe Musco |
| Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 4:35 pm |
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Joined: 18 May 2006
Posts: 2434
Location: Florianópolis, SC, Brasil
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Glamdring wrote: Really funny. Why did you choose cows instead of anything else?
Cause you can’t really milk a bald eagle. |
| I don't like YOU. |
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| CarpeGuitarrem |
| Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 4:55 pm |
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Joined: 07 Apr 2006
Posts: 3361
Location: Franciscan University of Steubenville
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| Hahaha....awesome!! |
| "ok, change of plans. the Cobracards christmas party is coming to my house, and we’re gunna teach FM how to hunt." (mm) |
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| ingold55 |
| Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 5:00 pm |
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Joined: 10 Oct 2005
Posts: 1199
Location: Out on the front line
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| That is great NB! A was laughing hard. |
There is a power in this world beyond any of us, and Jesus is that power and The Savior.
 this is my attempt to look cool.
Trade list (Want Balrogs and Aragorns) |
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| Anautikus |
| Posted: Tue Jul 24, 2007 5:05 pm |
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Joined: 28 Mar 2007
Posts: 687
Location:
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| NB? Ingold55, don’t you mean SoP? |
Last edited by Anautikus on Tue Jul 24, 2007 5:16 pm; edited 3 times in totalMy Haves/Wants
Let's Trade!
"Don't waste your time, or time will waste you..." |
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