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| macheteman |
 Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 11:42 am |
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Joined: 07 Dec 2006
Posts: 1200
Location: The Jungle
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so, a while back i wrote some lyrics, but since i can’t write music, they aren’t songs. so anyways, wondering what ya’ll think about them. you can give me both barrels if you want.
-mm
How can we see,
If we won’t open our eyes?
How can we live,
If we believe all the lies?
How can we dance,
If our joy always dies?
Jesus, You’ll have to lead me through,
’Cause I can’t find my way to you.
So grab my hand and hold on tight,
To lead my footsteps in the night.
It’s time to see,
Just open your eyes.
It’s time to live,
Forget all the lies.
It’s time to dance,
Until your joy flies.
Jesus, You’ll have to lead me through,
’Cause I can’t find my way to you.
So grab my hand and hold on tight,
To lead my footsteps in the night.
All life seems to shout You,
It’s all about You,
Can’t obey You without You,
So, Jesus, You’ll have to lead me through,
’Cause I can’t find my way to you.
So grab my hand and hold on tight,
To lead my footsteps in the night.
Stone Me With Roses
I said that i loved you
But you saw through the lies
I know i’m so selfish
but please don’t despise
The pain is so heavy
Can’t hold my course steady
So stone me with roses
I said, stone me with roses
When your heart closes
Just stone me with roses
I said that i loved you
But you already guessed
What I couldn’t say
I was lovin’ me best
And I love you today
To hand myself a bouquet
So stone me with roses
I said, stone me with roses
When your heart closes
Just stone me with roses
I never loved you for you
’Cause I loved myself more
Oh, I’ll grab the flowers
And walk out the door
I’m surrounded by fears
Which run down in tears
So stone me with roses
I said, stone me with roses
When your heart closes
Just stone me with roses
Can’t take the rejection
I need some protection
So stone me with roses
Just stone me with roses
I said stone me with roses
Death
Got a call from great Aunt Jane
Grampa died walkin’ down the lane
Viewing on Sunday
Funeral Monday
Our hands clasped ’round the casket
Our flowers in a basket
Death Brings us all together
It rips us into shreds
Then it leaves us weeping,
Crying on our beds
Drivin’ in that long sad line
Behind the Hurst one more time
Our Sorrows don’t fall
He weeps with us all
Because they rise up to God
While through life’s Jungle we plod
Death Brings us all together
It rips us into shreds
Then it leaves us weeping,
Crying on our beds
And with black shoes we tread
In our own way we’re all dead
The dirt’s shoveled on
It’s a grim old song
Six feet down, six feet under
Listen for the roll of thunder
Death Brings us all together
It rips us into shreds
Then it leaves us weeping,
Crying on our beds
When it’s my time to go
I want you all to know
Through your tears shed some smiles
’Cause i’ll be with Jesus for many miles
Death Brings us all together
It rips us into shreds
Then it leaves us weeping,
Crying on our beds
Then it leaves us weeping,
Crying on our beds |
Last edited by macheteman on Tue Mar 25, 2008 5:36 pm; edited 3 times in totalCheck out my best article The Utterly Corrupt Corruption,
If at first you don't succeed...Sky-diving isn't for you.
"Combat is dangerous. It tends to interupt your breathing process."
ROLF!!! |
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| DáinIronfoot |
| Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 11:53 am |
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Joined: 12 Jan 2007
Posts: 4594
Location: Beltsville, MD, USA
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| Somewhat depressing, but very well done! |
Best regards, Dáin, Vice Aftokrator of the Chosen Ones
Check out Lasting Alliances, The Road Ahead, and Ages of Middle-earth, three of my five dream card sets that make up Wars of the Ring. Oh, and I have a trade list now!
Also, if you're into DCs or RPGs (or even if you're not!), check out Realms of Middle-earth, the sequel to CG's "DC Adventure", Realms of the North! |
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| macheteman |
| Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 11:55 am |
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Joined: 07 Dec 2006
Posts: 1200
Location: The Jungle
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i was in quite a depressed state... wisconsin...
no, lol, but i was a little depressed at the time, so i guess it makes sense. glad you think they are well done! |
Last edited by macheteman on Tue Mar 11, 2008 12:30 pm; edited 1 time in totalCheck out my best article The Utterly Corrupt Corruption,
If at first you don't succeed...Sky-diving isn't for you.
"Combat is dangerous. It tends to interupt your breathing process."
ROLF!!! |
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| Anonymous Prodigy |
| Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 11:59 am |
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Joined: 10 Jan 2006
Posts: 4197
Location: United States
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I really like ’em. Especially Stone Me with Roses.  |
| I had to put something here. |
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| AgentDrake |
| Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 12:06 pm |
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Joined: 01 Apr 2007
Posts: 667
Location: Halfway between eccentric and insane...
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Anonymous Prodigy wrote: I really like ’em. Especially Stone Me with Roses.
Indeed |
| Never kid about politicians. The more bizarre the joke, the more likely it is to come true. |
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| macheteman |
| Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 4:18 pm |
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Joined: 07 Dec 2006
Posts: 1200
Location: The Jungle
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| thanks guys. i couldn’t think of a better name for the second one, so i just named it death. i thought about Death Leaves Us... i dunno, maybe |
Check out my best article The Utterly Corrupt Corruption,
If at first you don't succeed...Sky-diving isn't for you.
"Combat is dangerous. It tends to interupt your breathing process."
ROLF!!! |
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| CarpeGuitarrem |
| Posted: Mon Mar 10, 2008 8:02 pm |
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Joined: 07 Apr 2006
Posts: 3361
Location: Franciscan University of Steubenville
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Stone Me With Roses wasn’t bad, I loved the chorus. Death was good too. I don’t know if this is the musical style, but they both felt very literal, instead of coming up with different ways to say things.
And yeah, I’m a pretty harsh lyrical critic.  |
| "ok, change of plans. the Cobracards christmas party is coming to my house, and we’re gunna teach FM how to hunt." (mm) |
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| Pippin |
| Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 10:53 am |
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Joined: 04 Aug 2006
Posts: 268
Location: Colorado
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| macheteman |
| Posted: Tue Mar 11, 2008 12:58 pm |
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Joined: 07 Dec 2006
Posts: 1200
Location: The Jungle
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Thanks guys.
CarpeGuitarrem wrote: Stone Me With Roses wasn’t bad, I loved the chorus. Death was good too. I don’t know if this is the musical style, but they both felt very literal, instead of coming up with different ways to say things.
in a lot of ways you are right about them being very literal. especially Death. part of that is cause i had a specific point for each song, and part of that is probably cause i’m not a great songwriter. but in Stone Me With Roses i used a couple lines which were not literal at all:
"And I love you today
To hand myself a bouquet"
"Oh, I’ll grab the flowers
And walk out the door"
CarpeGuitarrem wrote: And yeah, I’m a pretty harsh lyrical critic.
it’s good man, it’s good.
and i realized that i had a typo in the chorus of stone me with roses  (or should i say "stone my with roses"  )
thanks guys
-mm |
Check out my best article The Utterly Corrupt Corruption,
If at first you don't succeed...Sky-diving isn't for you.
"Combat is dangerous. It tends to interupt your breathing process."
ROLF!!! |
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| macheteman |
| Posted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 5:35 pm |
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Joined: 07 Dec 2006
Posts: 1200
Location: The Jungle
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ok, i know this is a bump from page 2 but i wrote another song, feedback appreciated:
How can we see,
If we won’t open our eyes?
How can we live,
If we believe all the lies?
How can we dance,
If our joy always dies?
Jesus, You’ll have to lead me through,
’Cause I can’t find my way to you.
So grab my hand and hold on tight,
To lead my footsteps in the night.
It’s time to see,
Just open your eyes.
It’s time to live,
Forget all the lies.
It’s time to dance,
Until your joy flies.
Jesus, You’ll have to lead me through,
’Cause I can’t find my way to you.
So grab my hand and hold on tight,
To lead my footsteps in the night.
All life seems to shout You,
It’s all about You,
Can’t obey You without You,
So, Jesus, You’ll have to lead me through,
’Cause I can’t find my way to you.
So grab my hand and hold on tight,
To lead my footsteps in the night. |
Check out my best article The Utterly Corrupt Corruption,
If at first you don't succeed...Sky-diving isn't for you.
"Combat is dangerous. It tends to interupt your breathing process."
ROLF!!! |
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