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| NBarden |
 Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 9:16 pm |
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Joined: 28 Dec 2006
Posts: 5468
Location: I don't know...
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I use an EMP (Electro Magnetic Pulse) to vaporize all living objects on the field. I walk up and take the treasure, dribble it around the field. After soccer practice, I protect the soccer ball with a heat resistant shield and put it on a space ship. With an army of illegal operatives, I storm NASA headquarters and shoot the space ship off course, in a path to the sun. Of course they run out of fuel by then, but the spaceship is propelled far enough to be captured by the sun’s gravitational pull (and consequently sucked into the sun).
HA! Figure that one out.
Wait....back up.
Under the cooling shield, I put a teleportation proof shield.
NOW figure that one out. And please don’t destroy the solar system in the process. |
 -Trade With Me
 Add the popcorn smiley to your sig, help it achieve world domination.
What if the hokey pokey really IS what its all about? 
As I lay in bed staring at the stars last night, I thought to myself, "where the heck is the ceiling?"
 Spotlight on....Sense of Obligation. |
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| AgentDrake |
| Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 11:19 pm |
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Joined: 01 Apr 2007
Posts: 667
Location: Halfway between eccentric and insane...
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Hmmm. 
Without destroying the solar system, eh?
Fortunately, you forgot to account for the movement of other planets, and the spaceship crashlands on Venus which happens to be in between the spaceship and the sun at that point. The crash landing destroys the treasure’s shielding, as well as the ship’s.
I introduce an aerial phytoplankton into Venus’ atmosphere, beginning photosynthesis. Due to the massive levels of CO2, the phytoplankton rapidly multiplies, and enriches the planetary atmosphere with oxygen.
I then introduce other plant life, effectively terraforming Venus into a lush jungle world, albiet with massive amounts of volcanic activity. I now have a treasure-plated soccerball hidden somewhere in a wrecked spaceship in the middle of a highly volcanic jungle covering the face of an entire planet.
Oh, and I also put in some man-eating jungle-beasts. Pythons, tigers, phirana, and -- of course -- malaria infested mosqito hordes. |
| Never kid about politicians. The more bizarre the joke, the more likely it is to come true. |
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| sickofpalantirs |
| Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2007 1:09 pm |
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Joined: 23 Mar 2006
Posts: 7750
Location: somwhere, over the rainbow way up high. There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby.
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| I land on venus by commandeering a spaceship, and then with an army of cropdusters, hose down the entire planet with DDT killing the mosquitoes, I then proceed to use highly powerful metal detector from that ship to find the treasure, then i send down some of my operatives to get it. after doing that, I send it from venus, using the same type of vehicle that NB did, into the path of the sun |
Sop's haves/ top wants
(mm)"SoP: you will always be the Official CC Spammer in my heart"
"DáinIronfoot"
Spammers really are amazing creatures. You can learn all there is to know about their ways in a month. And yet, after a hundred years, they can still surprise you.  |
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| NBarden |
| Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 12:13 pm |
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Joined: 28 Dec 2006
Posts: 5468
Location: I don't know...
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| menace64 |
| Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 12:36 pm |
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Joined: 12 Apr 2006
Posts: 836
Location: Wichita, Kansas
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I launch a couple nukes at the asteroid, blasting it to smithereens.
Oops. The treasure got destroyed too.
*Kidding*
Using some kind of magnet-scanner, I locate the treasure drifting through the debris. Then, removing the electromagnet from the treasure, I create 19 exact duplicates of the treasure and launch all 20 into space, each on a random course through the universe. |
Riddle 9
When I came to Abraham I let him live just a moment longer. When I came to Moses I saved his life more than once. But the salmon... I regret to say I had a hand in its death.
Who am I? |
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| NBarden |
| Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 12:43 pm |
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Joined: 28 Dec 2006
Posts: 5468
Location: I don't know...
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They fail to reach the necessary velocity to escape the asteroids orbit and fall back on your head.
I combine all the treasures together and make a mega-treasure in a non-magnetic casing. I ship it to Felipe Musco in Brazil and he sets it on a raft down the Amazon. At some random location in the Amazon, it capsizes. |
-Trade With Me
Add the popcorn smiley to your sig, help it achieve world domination.
What if the hokey pokey really IS what its all about?
As I lay in bed staring at the stars last night, I thought to myself, "where the heck is the ceiling?"
Spotlight on....Sense of Obligation. |
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| Felipe Musco |
| Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 2:30 pm |
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Joined: 18 May 2006
Posts: 2434
Location: Florianópolis, SC, Brasil
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Lol  |
| I don't like YOU. |
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| menace64 |
| Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 2:40 pm |
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Joined: 12 Apr 2006
Posts: 836
Location: Wichita, Kansas
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It turns out Felipe was a very greedy guy, and decided to keep the treasure for himself. Putting all the treasure in a different case he had lying around, he set the original 20 down the Amazon, which - as NBarden pointed out - sank.
I figured as much and called the Brazilian equivalent of the FBI, telling them that Felipe was selling nonsterile teddy bears to children. They arrested him, and after they all left I went through his house until I found the hidden treasure chest.
Taking said chest, I deposited all its contents into my bank account, upgrading my security measures to its highest: to access my account, you need my signature, matching photo ID, fingerprint, optical match, and DNA sample.
Since, by now, the treasure has spread out from bank to bank across America, the only way to get its amount is to manage to get into my account. How do you do it? |
Riddle 9
When I came to Abraham I let him live just a moment longer. When I came to Moses I saved his life more than once. But the salmon... I regret to say I had a hand in its death.
Who am I? |
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| NBarden |
| Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 2:52 pm |
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Joined: 28 Dec 2006
Posts: 5468
Location: I don't know...
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I contact the Brazilian FBI, locate Felipe, and spring him out of jail. I contact the Brazilian Authorities and prove that you framed him. They contact the U. S. Government and freeze your assets. I tell a high-level CIA agent where the treasure is, he, with CIA clearance, confiscates the treasure and the rest of m64’s money. I then shoot him and take it. I stick the treasure in a anti-magnetic case and send scuba divers to recover the 20 cases.
I’ll hide it later. |
-Trade With Me
Add the popcorn smiley to your sig, help it achieve world domination.
What if the hokey pokey really IS what its all about?
As I lay in bed staring at the stars last night, I thought to myself, "where the heck is the ceiling?"
Spotlight on....Sense of Obligation. |
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| NBarden |
| Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 3:35 pm |
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Joined: 28 Dec 2006
Posts: 5468
Location: I don't know...
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Okay, I attach high-power explosives to the treasure and lock it in a 6 foot thick reinforced concrete vault. I install a lock with biometric access/denial systems, include retina scans, fingerprint scans, and voice ID.
The lock simultaneously disarms the bomb which attaches to the treasure and unlocks the vault. I suck all the air out of the vault leaving a vacuum. Remotely enabling the bomb, I destroy the remote. Any access to air and the treasure self destructs. |
-Trade With Me
Add the popcorn smiley to your sig, help it achieve world domination.
What if the hokey pokey really IS what its all about?
As I lay in bed staring at the stars last night, I thought to myself, "where the heck is the ceiling?"
Spotlight on....Sense of Obligation. |
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