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| Author |
Message |
Is this funny?
| Yes |
| [ 5 ] 33% |
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| Yes! |
| [ 10 ] 66% |
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Total Votes : 15 |
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| Gagnut |
 Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 6:01 pm |
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Joined: 14 Mar 2006
Posts: 846
Location: Ames, Iowa
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Yes, it’s again that magical time of the year when the Darwin Awards are
> bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.
>
> Here is the glorious Winner:
>
> 1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended
> victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California , would-be robber
> James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered
> down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
>
> And now, the Honorable Mentions:
>
> 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a
> meat-cutting machine and submitted a claim to his insurance
> company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men
> to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
> finger. The chef’s claim was approved.
>
> 3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his
> car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a
> woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
>
> 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
> driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
> transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to
> admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and
> offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the
> passengers to the mental hospital, telling the
> staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
> fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.
>
> 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
> head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he
> received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply
> trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train
> before he was hit.
>
> 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
> counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash
> drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the
> register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash
> from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The
> total amount of cash he got from the drawer: $15. (If someone
> points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)
>
> 7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
> that he’d just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window,
> grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved
> it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and
> hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The
> liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was
> caught on videotape.
>
> 8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
> grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and
> the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the
> snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the purse snatcher
> They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was
> then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID.
> To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I
> stole the purse from."
>
> 9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into
> a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
> demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
> couldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man
> ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for
> breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
>
> ****** A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
>
> 10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home
> parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for.
> Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next
> to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that
> the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon
> hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the
> vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh
> he’d ever had.
> |
| I don't have an avatar, I don't have a sig, my posts speak for themselves. |
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| NBarden |
| Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 6:57 pm |
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Joined: 28 Dec 2006
Posts: 5468
Location: I don't know...
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| ingold55 |
| Posted: Wed Jun 13, 2007 9:24 pm |
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Joined: 10 Oct 2005
Posts: 1199
Location: Out on the front line
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HAHAHAHAHA I loved them.
here’s one
A man walked into a store, pulled a gun on the old lady who was attending the desk and demanded money. The old lady exclaimed she was new, and didn’t know how to open the cash register without a purchase. So the man picks up the closest thing to him and asks her to now open the cash register. She tells him she doesn’t believe he is 18 and needed to see his drivers license. the man, now very frustrated, pulls out his wallet and give the old lady ID. The lady then opens the cash register and gives the man teh money. after the man leaves, the old lady gets on the phone and gives the police all the information the man had on his drivers license. The man was caught shortly after.
One guy goes into a starbucks and pulls a gun wanting the money in the cash register. The young work complies, and the money is taken. The clerk however finds the rober’s cell phone, and gives it to the police. It was however locked, so the men couldn’t find out who it belonged to. The man however called his own phone, and the police answered. He said it was his phone and wanted it back, so the police set up an appointment and grabbed the robber when he arrived.
One more sorry i won’t bore you after this... (not much anyways)
A man calls 911 and says he needs and ambulance, because he thinks he is having a heart attack. He is calling from a pay phone, and he is breathing very hard, and and his entire body is quivering as he talks. The 911 operator tries to sooth the man after recording the nessicary information.
"Sir, calm down and take deep breaths."
"Alright."
"What kind of activity have you been doing to cause a heart attack."
The guy replies, "Oh, I was running from a cop." |
Last edited by ingold55 on Fri Jun 15, 2007 9:49 am; edited 1 time in totalThere is a power in this world beyond any of us, and Jesus is that power and The Savior.
 this is my attempt to look cool.
Trade list (Want Balrogs and Aragorns) |
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| Gagnut |
| Posted: Thu Jun 14, 2007 4:27 pm |
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Joined: 14 Mar 2006
Posts: 846
Location: Ames, Iowa
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| Ah, the stupidity is so refreshing, . |
| I don't have an avatar, I don't have a sig, my posts speak for themselves. |
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| AgentDrake |
| Posted: Fri Jun 15, 2007 7:58 pm |
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Joined: 01 Apr 2007
Posts: 667
Location: Halfway between eccentric and insane...
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I sometimes wonder where all these morons come from.... |
| Never kid about politicians. The more bizarre the joke, the more likely it is to come true. |
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| bobtheorc |
| Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 1:39 pm |
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Joined: 19 Mar 2006
Posts: 1218
Location: Wow, its hot in Iowa
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| mm doughnuts |
| Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 9:23 am |
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Joined: 01 May 2007
Posts: 225
Location: a place
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oops, I voted "yes’ assuming the other option was "no" but it was "yes!" 
so yeah I meant "yes!" of course! These are hilarious! |
Only those who are awesome are able to comprehend the sheer super-special-awesomeness of this signature.
Trade With Me! |
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| bunnydaman |
| Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 9:52 am |
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Joined: 11 Jun 2007
Posts: 338
Location: 'hillbilliesville'
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| I seriously did’nt know that there were such stupid people. I would have voted yes! but when I opened the page, and it continues to stay the same, it shows the results and it won’t let me vote. Those were halarious. |
-"He’s like a spamming assasin." ~lem0nhead about SoP
"Yes, I'm a girl. And no, not like elf lvr."
[idea from FM] |
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| Gagnut |
| Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 5:28 pm |
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Joined: 14 Mar 2006
Posts: 846
Location: Ames, Iowa
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| These are the elementry school dropouts, but of course everyone already knew that. |
| I don't have an avatar, I don't have a sig, my posts speak for themselves. |
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| bunnydaman |
| Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 10:20 am |
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Joined: 11 Jun 2007
Posts: 338
Location: 'hillbilliesville'
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wow. these are both REALLY dumb, and REALLY funny! amazing. kinda like Spongebob! SB might be very litte kidish, but he rules! actually he’s stupid, but...
don’t ask plz... |
-"He’s like a spamming assasin." ~lem0nhead about SoP
"Yes, I'm a girl. And no, not like elf lvr."
[idea from FM] |
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