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| menace64 |
 Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 12:07 am |
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Joined: 12 Apr 2006
Posts: 836
Location: Wichita, Kansas
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I have been discharged from the United States Air Force.
Shock. News. Something heavy. Not to mention true.
If I choose to leave it at that, I’ll get a swarm of questions about how and why, so I might as well start there and end on the overwhelmingly optimistic note I’m currently singing at (oops, ended a sentence on a preposition).
Well, let’s just tell my whole Air Force tale, discharge and all.
I left for Kansas City on August 27th, which is where the closest processing station is for incoming trainees. They put us all up in a nice hotel, where I spent my last night alone until this day. That evening, however, I realized that I had forgotten a few things when I packed. So I went to go shopping.
I walked to the bus stop, and was quickly approached by an ill-favored man. He had a suspicious gait about him; something told me a prolonged interaction with him would lead me to a bad place. Oh how I was right!
"So you’re leavin’ for the military tomorrow," he told me after I introduced myself (after all, I’m nice like that). "Yes, that’s right." After a moment of awkward silence, he turned and said, "Well, here’s what we’re gonna do. You’re gonna buy my bus ticket, then you an’ me will take it down a ways to 37th, where you gonna get me some beer and I’ll help you shop. Sounds fair, don’it?"
I laughed/panicked inside. Here I was not even a day out and I was already toast! But I came up with a plan. I told him I didn’t have enough money for the two of us, but I’d run inside to a store across the street and get some more. He agreed to let me go, so off I ran. Once inside, I promptly called cab, and after a few tense minutes staring at him through the store window, it arrived. I dove in and told the drive to step on it, leaving my would-be robber in the dust.
Hurray for me.
But that’s not really what you’re all here to read, is it? I didn’t think so.
August 28: I get to Lackland AFB, San Antonio Texas. It’s hot, it’s busy, it’s loud. From the moment I stepped off the bus, I was yelled at - and not your typical ’oh you messed up’ yell. This is serious. They’re in your face, they’re in your head. They aren’t allowed to touch you, but they managed to scare you pantsless with words. It’s like some wicked black magic originating from some forgotten voodoo village in the middle of the Atlantic. Yes. Like that.
After my first day I knew I was in trouble. See, you get 3 meals a day: breakfast (5 am), lunch (noonish), dinner (6 pm). Each meal lasts for about 4 minutes if you’re behaved (and about um, well, no minutes if you mess up). I came into basic training 10 pounds underweight, my bad, and as soon as I got the lay of the land I realized that I would soon be starving.
After three days I lost another 10 pounds. Up until that time I’d never really known what starvation really was. But once you’re body turns on you and begins to eat away at itself, you learn very quickly how precious food is. I lost a lot of sleep and I couldn’t focus on what I was being told to do; I was always worried about how hungry I was. So I made a lot of mistakes and got yelled at a lot for it.
But salvation came to me in the form on an eating waver. I got to visit the medical clinic and I described my dangerous situation to them. They agreed that I needed more food and more time to eat it, which is what the waver provided me. So from then on I got to sit by myself and eat to my tummy’s content. And things were good for a time.
The physical training wasn’t all that bad. I struggled with push-ups, but had I been given more time in training, I would have improved. I kicked running in the butt, and I could march like a hornet. Things were looking promising. I decided one night after light’s out that I could perhaps graduate and get on with my life.
But, as I would soon discover, I was in the wrong world altogether.
September 11th. The day my proverbial tower fell.
My flight was at job processing, where they sat each of us down and described the details of our prospective occupations. When it was my turn, one of the first questions I was asked was if I’d had a history of depression. Now I’ve actually had a lot of trouble wit depression in my past, so I answered yes, assuming nothing of it.
Within ten minutes, I was sitting in a government-paid psychologist’s office. He evaluated me, and asked what, if anything, could improve my depression. I felt a bit offed by the question, because I never said anywhere that I was currently depressed; just that I had a darkened past. But I went ahead and told him that I’d like to talk to my family. He gave me a 1,000-minute phone card and directed me to a pay phone I could use to my heart’s content.
That was my first real contact with family. It had barely been two weeks since I’d shipped out, but it felt like decades. I cried pretty bad, and I can’t say how long I spent talking about nothing. All I knew was that loved ones were in Wichita and I was not. But my dad said to me, "son, if you’re not where you are, you’re nowhere." Meaning: If your mind isn’t on the task at hand, you can’t get anything done.
He was right, too. So I resolved at that moment to stick with training and push forward with a relentless intent to graduate.
Insert road block.
Twenty minutes later I had an appointment slip to BAS, the building that handled the discharges for crazy people. I was taken aback; was I being sent home? Where was I heading?
Sure enough, two days later (Thursday, September 13), I was being mentally evaulated, again. This time by a lieutenant colonel (about nine billion ranks above me). Now, this guy leveled with me and said, "Mark, with this depression business revealed, you can’t keep your linguist job. It requires complete mental clearance, and even though you aren’t depressed now it still affects you. But you’ve still got a choice: either stay here and we’ll find you another job, or go home. If you stay, we’ll pick the job; if you go, you might screw up the rest of your life."
Hm, I wondered. What a choice. Now, I knew right off the bat that any job I received from them would be absolute junk and I’d wind up depressed anyhow. So I decided to leave, even though that wasn’t my original intent at the start of all this depression business.
On Friday I was at the 319 training squadron, the ’holding cell’ for all the people recovering from an injury or being sent home. We were called the Crutching Tigers (get it?).
And for 4 weeks, I sat around, pretty much in a summer camp. We had near-unlimited time on pay phones, we got to keep all of our music devices in the dorm, in addition to writing material (which I used to near exhaustion) and books and magazines. We also had the radio and TVs, which we used sparingly to watch football and the rodeos.
We also played Magic: The Gathering. A lot.
But for me, those four weeks meant something entirely different. I wasn’t there to goof off with a bunch of guys (but I still did and had fun doing it). I was there so that I had time to figure out my next move. And, one day, like a bullet shot from a speeding train, it came to me.
I’ve always wanted to be a high school english teacher.
Yes. There it is. With my proficiency in language and my (albeit) brief exposure to military discipline, I think I would make a fine teacher. Not only that, but I could breathe some joy and meaning into what I taught. I could really reach out to some kids that otherwise wouldn’t know just how satisfying language can be.
So I had some time to work out details. What I plan on doing is getting settled back into Wichita, helping my parents fix up the rental house they plan to sell, and then begin classes at college next semester. I’ll get a job somewhere (most likely with my brother) and, whenever I can afford it, I’ll move into a nice one-bedroom apartment (I’ve already got one picked out).
In the meanwhile, I will continue to write. Every one of these experiences in my life is helping to shape just what kind of writer I am. All these things are thrown into the Mark Stew and what gets poopws out that night is something I can mold into story.
Not that I play with my poop or anything.
Well, I’m way tired and I’ve had a long day. Tomorrow (today) is going to be busy, but I’ll be around later and I’ll get into stuff again. Until then, know that I’m back home and back on track with goals before me and God behind me, always encouraging me to move ahead. |
Riddle 9
When I came to Abraham I let him live just a moment longer. When I came to Moses I saved his life more than once. But the salmon... I regret to say I had a hand in its death.
Who am I? |
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| CarpeGuitarrem |
| Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 12:34 am |
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Joined: 07 Apr 2006
Posts: 3361
Location: Franciscan University of Steubenville
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| M64, I’m glad you figured things out regarding your life. God bless you in the next steps! |
| "ok, change of plans. the Cobracards christmas party is coming to my house, and we’re gunna teach FM how to hunt." (mm) |
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| Turin06 |
| Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 3:52 am |
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Joined: 24 Oct 2006
Posts: 197
Location: Good Question
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| It’s sad that the whole Air Force thing didn’t work out for you. But it’s great for us that you’re back. |
Between the conception
And the creation
Between the emotion
And the response
Falls the Shadow |
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| lem0nhead |
| Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 5:26 am |
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Joined: 02 Apr 2007
Posts: 2981
Location: Blood Island
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| Unlucky menace. Sorry for you mate. Hope everything turns out alright. Nice to see a familiar face around the boards again though. Regular posters are getting few and far between. |
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| sickofpalantirs |
| Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 7:01 am |
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Joined: 23 Mar 2006
Posts: 7750
Location: somwhere, over the rainbow way up high. There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby.
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too bad. At least you decided what you DO want to be.
nice to have you back! |
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| Shieldmaiden |
| Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 7:01 am |
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Joined: 07 May 2007
Posts: 389
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
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I echo the sentiments of the above posters. I’m sorry to hear about what happened to you menace, but happy to see that you are back. You’re taking a bad turn of events and turning it into a new life path, though, and I admire your courage. Good luck with your new goals.
What you said about basic training brought back a lot of memories. I remember speed eatting at Lackland AFB, keeping my eye on the next line of tables. When that line started standing up and taking their trays away, then time was almost up. I just shoved what food was left into my mouth in the remaining seconds and forced myself to stand up. It was nerve racking to walk past the snake pit (where the TI’s sit and eat)! They always eyed you up as you passed them, hoping to find something wrong with you.
And I know what you mean about phoning home. Every single person I knew, whether male or female, cried when phoning home for the first time.
And you’re correct, if you had let them decide your career, they would have given you something that would be totally useless outside of the AF, like working in a missile silo. You made the right decision.
lol, I almost started to tell some basic training stories, but if I start that, my post will be 3 miles long!
Welcome back menace!  |
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| macheteman |
| Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 9:08 am |
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Joined: 07 Dec 2006
Posts: 1200
Location: The Jungle
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good to have you back! at least you know where your life is going now.
i think we all tend to focus on our circumstances and just glance at God. when we should be gazing to God and glancing at our circumstances. just remember to focus on Him during everything you’re going through. |
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| NBarden |
| Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 11:56 am |
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Joined: 28 Dec 2006
Posts: 5468
Location: I don't know...
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Hey man. Good to have you back, and sorry that the AF didn’t work out for you. I’ll be praying. Glad that you found out what you want to do with your life.
So, you gonna be sticking around Wichita then?
Oh, and it wasn’t a dishonorable discharge, right? |
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| elf lvr |
| Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 12:05 pm |
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Joined: 13 Jun 2006
Posts: 3065
Location: Rivendell
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Good to have you back, sorry things didn’t work out. But it’s cool you’ve figured out a different path.
Those are going to be some darn lucky kids to have you for a teacher, man.
Good luck with the writing, too. |
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| DáinIronfoot |
| Posted: Fri Oct 12, 2007 12:31 pm |
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Joined: 12 Jan 2007
Posts: 4594
Location: Beltsville, MD, USA
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Good to "see" you again, my friend. Sorry things didn’t work out as you intended, but it sounds like it’s all going to be for the better in the end. Too bad you didn’t get to spend some time in San Antonio itself (I’m guessing you didn’t), as it’s a really neat city to visit. Friggin’ hot, though. I used to have a friend at Lackland, so I’ve been there, though my experience was much different from yours and Maiden’s. I have such great respect for those who voluntarily go through that kind of training, even if they don’t make it all the way through. Still takes a lot of guts.
Anyway, welcome back and all that, and I hope your new plans work out for you. It’s nice knowing what direction you really want to go in, I bet. Teaching is a very noble profession, and ALSO takes a lot of guts. Just ask my wife. Best of luck to you. |
Best regards, Dáin, Vice Aftokrator of the Chosen Ones
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