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Felipe Musco
Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 5:02 pm
Joined: 18 May 2006 Posts: 2434 Location: Florianópolis, SC, Brasil
NBarden wrote:
BTW, what’s the fun of hunting with Napalm? Widespread destruction and not being able to eat what you kill? Talk about pointless.


SOme predatory fishermen ’round here "kind of" do that (it’s illegal, of course, so if they get caught they go to jail - ok, not really, but they SHOULD, anyway, that’s a whole other discussion): they drop explosives underwater and blow them up, and then just proceed to grab the dead fish by hand.
I don't like YOU.
macheteman
Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 5:05 pm
Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 1200 Location: The Jungle
that’s redneck fishing for ya...
Check out my best article The Utterly Corrupt Corruption,
If at first you don't succeed...Sky-diving isn't for you.
"Combat is dangerous. It tends to interupt your breathing process."
ROLF!!!
Felipe Musco
Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 5:06 pm
Joined: 18 May 2006 Posts: 2434 Location: Florianópolis, SC, Brasil
That’s predatory fishing by our law, a pretty serious crime.
I don't like YOU.
macheteman
Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 5:09 pm
Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 1200 Location: The Jungle
yeah, here in the states, we make jokes about rednecks doing that.
Check out my best article The Utterly Corrupt Corruption,
If at first you don't succeed...Sky-diving isn't for you.
"Combat is dangerous. It tends to interupt your breathing process."
ROLF!!!
NBarden
Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 5:31 pm
Joined: 28 Dec 2006 Posts: 5468 Location: I don't know...
I think that’s only legal in Australia.

Its illegal here. IDK how to describe what a redneck is. Try wikipedia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redneck

Or some redneck jokes.

You might be a redneck if...

You think Sherlock Holmes is a
housing project down in Biloxi.

You think a stock tip is
advice on worming’ your hogs.

You’ve been married three times
and still have the same in-laws.

You think TACO BELL is
the Mexican Phone Company

Your house still has the
"WIDE LOAD"
sign on the back.

You got stopped by a state trooper.
He asked you if you had an I.D.
And you said, ’Bout What?’

Non
Athletic
Sport
Created
Around
Rednecks

If you can burp
and say your name at the same time,
you’re shur’nuff a redneck.

You think Possum is
"The Other White Meat"

You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.

The centerpiece on your dining room table
is an original signed work
by a famous taxidermist.

You think a quarter horse is
a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart.

You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it’s wheels.

Your huntin dawg had a litter of puppies in the living room and nobody noticed.

You think subdivision is part of a math problem.

You may be a Redneck if ...
You and your dog use the same tree.

You think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida.

You think the last words to
The Star Spangled Banner are
"Gentlemen, start your engines."

Your father executes the "pull my finger"
trick during Christmas dinner.

You believe dual air bags refer
to your wife and mother-in-law.

You’ve got more than
one brother named ’Darryl’.

You think the OJ Trial was a
Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

You were acquitted for murdering
your first wife after she threw
out your Elvis 8-tracks.

You think watching professional
wrestling is foreplay.

The people on Jerry Springer’s show
remind you of your neighbors

Your front porch collapses
and four dogs git killed.

Your kids take a siphon hose to "Show and Tell."

You’ve ever had to scratch your sisters
name out of a message that begins,
"For a good time time call..."

You know yer a redneck when you take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took

Your whole family is Democrats
’cept little Mary.
She lernt how to read.

You think fast food is hitting a possum at 65 mph.

You can get dog hair from out of your belly button.

You have a bumper sticker that says,
"MY MOTHER’S AN HONOR STUDENT
AT SOUTH LITTLE ROCK JR. HIGH."

You take a six-pack cooler to church.

You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.

You had to remove a toothpick
for your wedding pictures.

You use a weedeater in your living room.

You consider your license plate personalized because
your dad made it in prison.

You have a rag for a gas cap.

The blue book value of your truck goes up and down
depending on how much gas it has in it.

The third grade teacher says little Bubba
could be a mathematical genius
because he’s got thirteen fingers.

Fifth grade was the best six years of your life.

You have to go outside to get
something out of the ’fridge.

A seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.

You have spray painted your
girlfriend’s name on an overpass.

Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

Someone asks to see your ID and you
show them your belt buckle.

Your dad walks you to school because
you are both in the same grade.

Mailpouch sends you Christmas cards.

Down where you come from reruns of
Hee Haw are called documentaries.

Your house doesn’t have curtains,
but your truck does.

You need one more hole punched in your card
to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

You have flowers planted in a
bathroom fixture in your front yard.

On your first date you had to ask your
Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

You think the Mountain Men in Deliverance
were just "misunderstood".

If you refer to the fifth grade
as, "your senior year".

Three quarters of the clothes you
own have LOGOS on them.

The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

Your `huntin dawg’ cost more than the truck you drive him around in.

Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

You’ve been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars.

You just bought an 8-track
player to put in your truck.

You’ve ever climbed a water tower
with a bucket of paint
to defend your sister’s honor.

It’s easier to spray weed killer
on your lawn than mow it.

You think the three primary colors are
John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray.

Your pickup has a two-tone paint job
-- primer red and primer gray.

You’ve been on TV more than 5 times
describing the sound of a tornado.

The beer can collection in the
town museum is the big tourist attraction.

You can tell your age by the
number of rings in the bathtub.

You may be a redneck if you ever
used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.

You can change the oil in your truck
without ducking your head.

You’re a lite beer drinker ’cause you start drinkin beer when it gets light.

You think the stock market
has fence around it.

Your stereo speakers used to belong
to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.

You own a homemade fur coat.

Your entire family has ever sat around
waiting for a call from the Governor
to spare a loved one.

Your wife has ever said,
"Come move this transmission
so I can take a bath."

YOU REFER TO THE TIME YOU WON
A FREE CASE OF MOTOR OIL AS
"THE DAY MY SHIP CAME IN."

The FBI surrounded your trailer park
twice so far this year.

You use a NASCAR credit card.

you might be a redneck if....
Your parents met at a family reunion.

You believe that beef jerky and Moon Pies
are two of the major food groups.

You stare at an orange juice container
because it says, "CONCENTRATE".

YOUR IDEA OF HIGH-QUALITY ENTERTAINMENT
IS A SIX-PACK AND A BUG-ZAPPER.

You wonder how service stations
keep their restrooms so clean.

Anyone in your family died right
after saying, "Hey, y’all watch this!".

You couldn’t learn to swim
because
your gene pool is too small.

Your wife’s job requires her
to wear an orange vest.

You have the local taxidermist’s
number on speed dial.

On Thanksgiving Day you have
to decide which pet to eat.

Your school fight song is"Dueling Banjos".

You think "taking out the trash"
means taking your in-laws to a movie.

Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.

You got Clapper devices controlling
the appliances in your house.

You think a hot tub is
a stolen bathroom fixture.

The gas pedal on your car
is shaped like a bare foot.

They just raised the drinking age in your state to 32 on account of they wanted to keep alcohol out of the schools

You hammer bottle caps into the
frame of your front door to make it look nice.

The Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.

The taillight covers of your car
are made of red tape.

You have every episode of Hee-Haw on tape.

You’ve ever been involved in a
custody fight over a hunting dog.

The KKK kicked you out for being a bigot.

You think a turtleneck is
a key ingredient for soup.

You think the French
Riviera is a foreign car.

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

You no longer drink wine ever since
the screw cap got caught up your nose.

You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.

Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined
by a ceiling fan.

You go to your family reunion
looking for a date.

Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.

Your high school basketball game got rained out.

You’ve got more than three cousins
named ’Bubba’.

You have a close relative named "Cletus".

You ever won first prize in a tobacco spittin contest.

You wish your outhouse was as nice
as those at the state park.

Last year you hid yer kids’
Easter eggs under cow pies.

Your family always goes to the movies in groups of 18 or
more ’cause they were told 17 and under are not admitted.

Jack Daniels makes your list
of "Most Admired People"

Your dog can’t watch you eat
without getting sick.

You think the winter olympic sport of curling
is part of the "Big Hair" competition.

When you was little, your front yard got toilet papered
and your momma thought it was a gift from God.

You’ve painted a car with house paint.

You’re banned from the Memphis Zoo because you disturb the monkeys.

You ever named a child after a dog.

You have more belt-buckles than pants.

You removed the back seat from your
car so all yer kids could fit in.

You think taking a bubble bath starts
with eating beans for dinner

Your child’s first words were
"Attention K-Mart

YOU’VE EVER COME HOME
AND FOUND CRIME SCENE TAPE
ACROSS YOUR FRONT PORCH.

You think a woman who is
"out of your league"
bowls on a different night.
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AgentDrake
Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 5:40 pm
Joined: 01 Apr 2007 Posts: 667 Location: Halfway between eccentric and insane...
Wow.

That’s waaaayy too long. Laughing

Redneck: a Kick-A** hillbilly, who couldn’t care less about the rules, hunts, fishes, drinks beer, leaves butchered deer hanging in the front yard to screw with his PETA neighbors, and generally talks with a Missouri accent.

In fact....

True story: My cousin’s Uncle (on the other side) knifed a deer.
He was driving along, then saw a deer in the road, jumped out of the car, jumped on the deer’s back, rode along for several minutes, wrestling the deer, then knifed it’s throat.
Then he got caught. Not exactly legal to knife deer, and it wasn’t deer season anyways.

Same guy found a skunk which got into his basement. It wouldn’t leave, so he shotgunned it. Blew it to pieces while it was still down there. Basement reeked for weeks.


THAT’s a redneck.
Never kid about politicians. The more bizarre the joke, the more likely it is to come true.
NBarden
Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 5:49 pm
Joined: 28 Dec 2006 Posts: 5468 Location: I don't know...
Define hillbilly. Remember, he’s not familiar with all the American terms. He’s from Brazil.

Yep. That there’s a redneck feller fer shure.
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What if the hokey pokey really IS what its all about? Shocked
As I lay in bed staring at the stars last night, I thought to myself, "where the heck is the ceiling?"
Arrow Spotlight on....Sense of Obligation.
Felipe Musco
Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 7:55 pm
Joined: 18 May 2006 Posts: 2434 Location: Florianópolis, SC, Brasil
I know what hilllbilly and redneck means, don’t worry. I just didn’t know that was a redneck joke. And in case you want to know, the bazilian word for redneck is "caipira". There’s even a pretty popular brazilian drink called "caipirinha" (little redneck) which is served in many places all over the world, made with cachaça (or vodka at some places), sugar and lemon juice. SO good!
I don't like YOU.
NBarden
Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 8:21 pm
Joined: 28 Dec 2006 Posts: 5468 Location: I don't know...
Are you sure you aren’t American? Or are we really so popular that people from all over the world are picking up on our pop culture?
Exclamation-Trade With MeExclamation
Popcorn Add the popcorn smiley to your sig, help it achieve world domination.
What if the hokey pokey really IS what its all about? Shocked
As I lay in bed staring at the stars last night, I thought to myself, "where the heck is the ceiling?"
Arrow Spotlight on....Sense of Obligation.
macheteman
Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 8:51 pm
Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 1200 Location: The Jungle
NBarden wrote:
Are you sure you aren’t American? Or are we really so popular that people from all over the world are picking up on our pop culture?


lol. redneck is like the opposite of "pop culture" unless you are a redneck, in which case, you are totally pop culture Cool Laughing
Check out my best article The Utterly Corrupt Corruption,
If at first you don't succeed...Sky-diving isn't for you.
"Combat is dangerous. It tends to interupt your breathing process."
ROLF!!!

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