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| macheteman |
 Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 10:42 pm |
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Joined: 07 Dec 2006
Posts: 1200
Location: The Jungle
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Anonymous Prodigy wrote: Moderatorland issues whoopee cushions to all empires. Whoopee cushion warfare is encouraged.
dude, i am SURE whoopee cushion warfare is in direct opposition to the Geneva convention! |
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"Combat is dangerous. It tends to interupt your breathing process."
ROLF!!! |
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| NBarden |
| Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 11:05 pm |
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Joined: 28 Dec 2006
Posts: 5468
Location: I don't know...
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| AgentDrake |
| Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 11:27 pm |
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Joined: 01 Apr 2007
Posts: 667
Location: Halfway between eccentric and insane...
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The Imperial Republic of Drakesmark hereby announces the completion of our superweapon:
Anti-matter viral assassin bombs, capable of precision targeting, killing only the target without any form of collateral damage (aside from blood stains when the device goes off in the wrong spot of the body.)
These weapons are small particles of antimatter carried by viral agents, and released when triggered. Different triggering mechanisms are available, though remote detonation is our preferred method, though in the case of systems such as NBardania’s Jamming, biotriggers are also an option.
Further, such devices, by nature, cannot be traced, as there is 100% destruction of the device itself. Nothing remains aside from occasionally small bits of the victim, but those are generally eliminated by the antimatter’s dispersion via viral agent.
Drakesmark hereby warns Samzion and HippoHeaven that their agents have been infected. Hippo armor, like any other form of matter, is susceptible to antimatter charges. The hippoes were infected via viral agents planted in the food they put in their titanium-crushing mouths. Samzion must withdraw from the conflict, and HippoHeaven must remove its imperialistic dictatorial troops from the allies of the Imperial Republic of Drakesmark, which includes both NBardania and Ingoldania.
In response to NBardania’s war-mongering attack on Ingoldania, Drakesmark also threatens both NBardania and Ingoldania with antimatter viral strikes unless both sides accept a ceasefire. (Note that this is not an act of ambitious and agressive hostility, but of aggressive self-defense, as Drakemark does not have the weaponry or the resources to be dragged into this war should it escalate, and our relations with both nations make our position tenuous.)
Edit: And the Imperial Republic of Drakesmark never signed the Geneva Convention. We will use whatever methods we feel like to deal with our wars and captives, including -- but not limited to -- exposing them to multiple readings of How Much For Just the Planet?, Lo-Fi Opera recordings at high volume, and being slapped silly with whoopee cushions. |
| Never kid about politicians. The more bizarre the joke, the more likely it is to come true. |
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| NBarden |
| Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2007 11:49 pm |
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Joined: 28 Dec 2006
Posts: 5468
Location: I don't know...
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NBardania would like to remain allies with Drakesnark, but would like to point out that the war was induced by Ingoldania’s threat to our national security, forcing us to take pre-emptive measures to prevent an attack on our nation.
NBardania has ALWAYS maintained the policy of negotiation before war, but Ingoldania refused to cooperate with negotiations which forces NBardania to take drastic action in the interests of national security.
If Ingoldania agrees to disarm its military, NBardanian forces will withdraw immediately. Until that time, we won’t cease until the nation is under our control from which we can force them to comply with our demands for disarmament.
NBardania also announces that its .30-06 shells will be firing armor piercing rounds and/or depleted uranium rounds with the capability of the destruction of any moving vehicle to date and small buildings. Grenade launchers using depleted low-power radioactive materials (with short half-lives) are being researched for the destruction of larger buildings.
In the meantime, NBardania WILL agree to a cease fire IN REGARDS TO THE DESTRUCTION OF LIFE, however, our satellite mega-jammers hereby place the entire country of Ingoldania under complete lockdown until the capitulate to our demands and our JSFs will be mobilized on complete annihilation of Ingoldania’s satellite system. Hopefully, that will aid in the peaceful disarmament of Ingoldania.
NBardania continues to maintain that war is the last option, but should we be at the end of our rope, we will not hesitate to drop-kick (or throw a kitty at) the person threatening us.
NBardania also announces that it has begun cloning kittens with genes disposed towards exceptional intelligence and following orders to begin training as ninjas.
Beware the kitty ninjas!
Finally, NBardania again orders that all neutral countries withdraw from all interference in any war between NBardania and its enemies. Any non-compliance hereby warrants a complete electronic lockdown of your country via amplified EMPs from our satellite system.
With that, hostilities in Ingoldania cease at once and the entire country is hereby placed under lockdown pending capitulation or re-commencement of the hostilities. |
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| AgentDrake |
| Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 1:07 am |
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Joined: 01 Apr 2007
Posts: 667
Location: Halfway between eccentric and insane...
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The Imperial Republic of Drakesmark considers Nbardania’s assumption of a passive offensive to be satisfactory, and we hereby neutralize our assassin bombs within NBardanian targets.
We also issue the statement that we believe that our other allies, Ingoldania DID remove their original threats towards NBardania, and attempted to restore diplomatic relations shortly after their initial threats of a nuclear strike. This, in fact, occurred before Ingoldania and Drakesmark opened diplomatic relations of our own. Drakesmark requests a clarification as to whether NBardania:
1. Considered this to be an attempt by Ingoldania to take NBardania off guard before continuing with their strike
-or -
2. Does not consider this sufficiently backing down from Ingoldania’s initial hostile position
-or-
3. Considers Ingoldania hostile for some other reason which Drakesmark failed to observe.
We are particularly interested if the third option is the case, as Drakesmark would prefer to keep appraised of relations between our allies.
Our transcript of the International Announcements of Ingoldania regarding the reduction of hostilities towards NBardania is included below, as evidence of (what we believe to be)our ally’s goodwill:
ingold55 wrote:
Ingoldania has officially launched its ’star wars’ project. You are under observation, I have also sent two ambasadors to NBardinia to attempt to restore diplomatic relations, and as far Imperial Republic of Drakesmark is concerned, I may send a few ambasadors to you later... but you have moved up on my list of prime targets to attack.... I will be watching you  |
| Never kid about politicians. The more bizarre the joke, the more likely it is to come true. |
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| sickofpalantirs |
| Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 2:50 pm |
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Joined: 23 Mar 2006
Posts: 7750
Location: somwhere, over the rainbow way up high. There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby.
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Sopville thinks you are all wasting your lives on this...  |
Sop's haves/ top wants
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Spammers really are amazing creatures. You can learn all there is to know about their ways in a month. And yet, after a hundred years, they can still surprise you.  |
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| Frank_the_Hippo |
| Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 5:34 pm |
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Joined: 16 Jul 2006
Posts: 21
Location: The Nile
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| Seeing as Nbardania is taking a passive offense, hippoheaven removes its operatives. Hippoheavens ambassadors also say that Nbardania’s threats were uncalled for. HippoHeavens will only use their operatives as a last resort and don’t wish for violence. Hippoheaven seeks an alliance with TIR of Drakesmark. |
hippo is a cop. Hippo need your help. Help hippo
don't help hippo
if you chose help hippo, you can help by giving hints. Hippo knows rules not allow giving things away. |
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| Anonymous Prodigy |
| Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 5:48 pm |
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Joined: 10 Jan 2006
Posts: 4197
Location: United States
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macheteman wrote: Anonymous Prodigy wrote: Moderatorland issues whoopee cushions to all empires. Whoopee cushion warfare is encouraged.
dude, i am SURE whoopee cushion warfare is in direct opposition to the Geneva convention!
Moderatorland encourages whoopee cushion warfare anyway.
And issues extra whoopee cushions to all empires. |
| I had to put something here. |
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| Frank_the_Hippo |
| Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 7:57 pm |
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Joined: 16 Jul 2006
Posts: 21
Location: The Nile
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Hippoheaven adopts the policy of speak softly and carry a big stick.
We begin mass-production of H1 tanks, especially made large to fit our hippo bodies and fitted with impenetrable armor, and 160mm cannons. Additionally, we begin making H12 chopters, heavily armored, albeit slow, choppers that can carry 10 hippo commandoes. We also step up the training of commanders and diplomats. WE of hippoheaven will not attack unless heavily provoked, and even then will try to use diplomacy, but just in case we thought it best to build up our military (think Switzerland). We also begin stockpiling catnip. |
hippo is a cop. Hippo need your help. Help hippo
don't help hippo
if you chose help hippo, you can help by giving hints. Hippo knows rules not allow giving things away. |
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| Anonymous Prodigy |
| Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2007 8:43 pm |
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Joined: 10 Jan 2006
Posts: 4197
Location: United States
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Frank_the_Hippo wrote: Hippoheaven adopts the policy of speak softly and carry a big stick.
Moderatorland takes Hippoheaven’s big stick and beats all of the hippoes to death with it. |
| I had to put something here. |
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