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Is this a good topic?
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Total Votes : 14 |
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| Anonymous Prodigy |
 Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 7:34 pm |
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Joined: 10 Jan 2006
Posts: 4197
Location: United States
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This is just a topic I made so we can share jokes. I’ll start.
Husband: Where does all that grocery money go that I give you?
Wife: Stand sideways and look in the mirror. |
| I had to put something here. |
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| Witch King |
| Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 8:18 pm |
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Joined: 11 Apr 2006
Posts: 34
Location: Earth
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Nope, your right AP, this is not a good topic, but I will cooperate for the time being because I am extremely bored!
Sam: Jake where is your little brother.
Jake: In the hospital.
Sam: What, how come?
Jake: We were having a contest to see who could lean farthest out the
window and he won.  |
| John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life. |
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| bobtheorc |
| Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2007 1:05 pm |
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Joined: 19 Mar 2006
Posts: 1218
Location: Wow, its hot in Iowa
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| Merrick_Hale |
| Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2007 3:50 pm |
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Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 445
Location: Austin, Texas
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<WKBC, your joke was deleted as some would find it rather offensive.>
I think it would be better if it was Dilbertized :
If you buy a canoe, name it engineer because it will never tip. |
Aaron Rhinehart
Rider of Rohan (retired)
DAgent #417 (retired)
This Incognito is a smooth operator - Lem0nhead |
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| sickofpalantirs |
| Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2007 3:54 pm |
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Joined: 23 Mar 2006
Posts: 7750
Location: somwhere, over the rainbow way up high. There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby.
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nice. but WKBC’s joke is still there. oh wait that is the witch king.
um lets see.oh
what does a chicken and a grape have in common?
there bothj green, except for the chicken, ha ha ha |
 Sop's haves/ top wants
(mm)"SoP: you will always be the Official CC Spammer in my heart"
"DáinIronfoot"
Spammers really are amazing creatures. You can learn all there is to know about their ways in a month. And yet, after a hundred years, they can still surprise you.  |
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| La_Sin_Grail |
| Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2007 5:31 pm |
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Joined: 14 Aug 2005
Posts: 806
Location: Maryland
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Bleh... appropriate jokes... I go to high school, where can I find something appropriate?
PM me for slightly more mature humor than I would feel comfortable posting on the boards Ask for the "chip" jokes. |
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| Gagnut |
| Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 12:36 pm |
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Joined: 14 Mar 2006
Posts: 846
Location: Ames, Iowa
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What do you get when you combine a Snake, A lemming, and a Worm?
You get an Adder that can multiply and divide.
There was a game that one of my friends make up. It’s a stupid game called Inky Pinky, You give someone a clue for two words that Rhyme.
Example:
A game played with a fuzzy dice being combusted.
Bunko Burning. |
| I don't have an avatar, I don't have a sig, my posts speak for themselves. |
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| Merrick_Hale |
| Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 2:56 pm |
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Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 445
Location: Austin, Texas
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That isn’t rhyming... that is alliteration. Rhyming would be something like:
Burner Turner
lame game
rock sock |
Aaron Rhinehart
Rider of Rohan (retired)
DAgent #417 (retired)
This Incognito is a smooth operator - Lem0nhead |
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| CarpeGuitarrem |
| Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 6:45 pm |
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Joined: 07 Apr 2006
Posts: 3361
Location: Franciscan University of Steubenville
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Back on the joke topic...here’s one that you might hate me for. But I’ll tell it. It is extremely long...
So there was this kid going to kindergarten, and he did really well throughout all of it. He got A’s in Play-doh class, naptime class, you get the idea. Anyway, his parents were so proud of him, that they told him, "Okay, you’re graduating kindergarten, and we’re really proud of you. So, we’ll buy you a present. Anything you want, anything! Just tell us." And the kid replied, "I’d like a pack of pink ping-pong balls." And they bought him a pack of pink ping-pong balls, and they never saw them again.
The kid goes to first grade. He learns his lessons, aces finger-painting, even manages to tell better stories than the teacher. And he even learns to read a little. His parents are so proud of him, that they make the exact same offer to him, and he tells them, "You know what, I’d like two packs of pink ping-pong balls." They look at him a little strangely, but they buy him the two packs. And they never see the pink ping-pong balls again.
He goes to second grade, and learns to read. And reads so well that he’s far past little books and into longer books. His parents are very impressed with him, and very impressed with the amazing grades that he gets. And they tell him, "Okay, so you did amazing this year, and so for your graduation, we’ll buy you anything you want-anything!" He thinks for a moment, and replies, "Well...I’d like four packs of pink ping-pong balls." They shake their heads a little, but they buy him the ping-pong balls. And he takes them and they never see them again.
Third grade. He’s really into math, and he really gets into this adding thing. They’re proud of him, and they make the same promise. He asks for eight packs of pink ping-pong balls, and they buy them. Fourth grade, same story. Great grades, sixteen packs of pink ping-pong balls. Fifth grade, thirty-two packs. And he takes them all to his room, and they never see them again.
And then he starts middle school. Math class, he’s right on top of everything. English, he’s starting to read classics now, and actually gets into them. Science, he’s the start student. He starts to do art, and he’s really impressive. He even manages to make some headway in track and field. And his parents are very proud of him. They tell him, "Okay, you’ve done great in your first year of middle school, and we’re proud of you. And we’re getting you a present. Ask for toys, clothes..." And he immediately butts in and replies, "I’d like sixty-four packs of pink ping-pong balls." They raise their eyebrows again, but manage to find sixty-four packs. He takes them all, and they never see them again.
Seventh grade, he’s still amazing, and continues to excel in all his subjects. His parents promise to give him a present-and what do you think he asked for? The kid took the one hundred twenty-eight packs of pink ping-pong balls to his room, and they never saw the packs again. Graduating into high school, he’s still on top, and he’s the star of the school’s basketball team. His parents are incredibly proud of him, and they tell him, "Okay, so you’ve graduated eighth grade, and we’ll get you a present. Something. Anything. But-" He puts his hand up, and tells them, "Two hundred and fifty-six packs of pink ping-pong balls." Sighing, they nod and buy him the packs of pink ping-pong balls. He takes them all, and they never see them again.
Freshman year. He manages to escape the worst of the hazing, and then makes a breakthrough in the basketball team. He starts out at point guard, and is incredible. By the end of the season, he’s started in at least five games, and led the school’s team to the state championship. In his school subjects, he’s been coming home with straight A’s (except for the occasional B- in science. But nobody passes that anyway). And at the end of his freshman year, he’s done so well that his parents make him the exact same promise. And he tells them, "I’d like...five hundred and twelve packs of pink ping-pong balls." Grumbling slightly (but they still love him), they buy him the five hundred and twelve packs. And he takes them all to his room and they never see them again.
Sophomore year, same thing. Except it’s one thousand and twenty-four packs. And they never see them again. Junior year, he gets really tall, and is the starting center for the basketball team. He’s also got a girlfriend-a nice girl named Eileen. And he still aces his school subjects. He graduates from junior year, and his parents tell him, "You know what, we’re so proud of you that we’ll buy you anything you want-but please, please, couldn’t you ask for something like a car, or maybe..." He stops them, and replies, "I’d like two thousand and forty-eight packs of pink ping-pong balls." They gasp, and manage to scrounge together the packs, by buying out the local Toys R Us. He takes them all to his room, and they’re never seen again.
Senior year, he leads the team to state again, and takes it home in a massacre. He’s the Homecoming King, and Eileen is Homecoming Queen. He still manages to ace his subjects, and he graduates as the Valedictorian, with a full-ride basketball scholarship to Duke. His parents look at him, and they tell him, "You know what, son, we’re incredibly proud of you, so we’ll buy you anything you want. And you don’t have to ask for-" He interrupts them, and replies, "I love you. I’d like four thousand and ninety-six packs of pink ping-pong balls." They send out letters to local toy shops, and manage to get the ping-pong balls mailed in.
He goes to college, and plays basketball for Duke. He makes it onto the starting team in his junior year, and goes with the team to the Final Four. Senior year, he’s team captain, and he takes them all the way to the NCAA championship, where they rock the other team for the championship. Through all of this, he’s still keeping in touch with Eileen, and he graduates Magna Cum Laude. His parents and Eileen are at the graduation, and his parents tell him, "Son, we’re very extremely proud of you, so we’d like to get you a graduation present. Anything you want, anything. A car, a house..." He pauses for a moment, and replies, "Well, I’d like...eight thousand, one hundred and ninety-two packs of pink ping-pong balls." They gasp, but they buy a pink ping-pong ball factory, and start churning out pink ping-pong balls non-stop. And he takes all of the packs to his new house, and nobody sees them again.
He becomes a professional basketball player, and keeps up his relationship with Eileen. One day, he proposes to her, and they get married soon after. His parents are very proud of him, and they tell him, "You’re getting married, and we’d like to get you a wedding present. You can ask for anything..." And as they pause for breath, he tells them, "Well, how about sixteen thousand, three hundred eighty-four packs of pink ping-pong balls?" The factory begins to work overtime, and they churn out the pink ping-pong balls. He takes them all, and nobody ever sees them again.
When the young couple is on their honeymoon, however, tragedy strikes. They both get in a car accident, and the young man is critically wounded. His family flies over in the Pink Ping-Pong Ball Factory company jet (the company was incredibly successful now). The father comes over and looks at him, and the mother goes to comfort Eileen. The father looks at his son, and asks, "Son...I love you. But in your entire life, you’ve never told me one thing that I’ve been wondering about. And because you’re about to die, could you tell me-what have you been doing with all of those pink ping-pong balls?"
The man coughs, and looks up at his father, and replies, "Well..."
And then he dies. |
| "ok, change of plans. the Cobracards christmas party is coming to my house, and we’re gunna teach FM how to hunt." (mm) |
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| bobtheorc |
| Posted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 8:44 pm |
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Joined: 19 Mar 2006
Posts: 1218
Location: Wow, its hot in Iowa
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