GT presents: A devils-advocate rebuttal:
Why the Empire was not evil.
Hey people, isn't calling mass murder, tyranny and despotism 'evil' such an glaring plot flaw? Gee, I guess we ought to tell people that blowing up billions doesn't make people evil, it's society. And freedom fighters? Well their obviously be terrorists that kill people for the #$&*@! of it and commit horrendous crimes of all kinds (the crimes don't even need to be referenced or mentioned, or even suggested in any way, we just know they happened, because that's what terrorists do) and are obvious trying to topple these
tyrannical stable governments that
slaughter civilians by the bushel give everyone free healthcare and jobs. I mean, how do we even know that the Empire didn't use special effects to make it 'look' like Alderaan got blown up? We don't. But we're just supposed to believe what we see. Do you know what's really going on?
It's all a Zionist conspiracy to make things look like the Empire was actually evil! Luke was stolen from his parents at birth by this creepy guy called 'Ben' who took him to live with his redneck ignorant dumbass uncle. The Rebels weren't innocent people. Lando Calrissian was actually a tax-evading piece of scum that the Empire tracked down for his crimes. Han Solo was a thief and cheat, and Princess Leia was a traitor. She was in a holding cell to be executed for betraying the Empire, and she was busted out in an illegal break that cost the lives of dozens of innocent stormtroopers. I mean c'mon, think of those poor guy's family's! Aunt Beru and Uncle Owen were actually attacked by intergalactic
jawas jews who were only
beaten back by the heroic stormtroopers. Obi Wan 'Ben' Kenobi was a notorious pedophile who abused poor Anakin Skywalker so much that his 'padawan' became 'evil', then changed his name to 'Ben', abducted Anakin's child, and fled to the desert with him. How about Yoda? He was wanted for 1458 drug charges, on every planet from Coruscant to Tatooine issued warrants for his arrest, so he fled to #$&*@! swamp where he got high for years on weed until he was found by Luke. And the death star(S)?
Then imagine the tailors, the bartenders, the merchants, the cobblers, the restauranteurs, the bakers, the droid-repairers, the technicians, the plumbers, the entertainers, the prostitutes, the waiters and waitresses, the stowaways, and the zookeepers on that thing.
-wtk
Think of the prostitutes man! Think of the poor whores who died because of rebel violence! Think of those poor droids that got #$&*@! in the butt by humans, who repaired their shoes, who oversaw the little kiddy zoos, who waited on humans, who repaired human clothing, who baked food for humans, who fixed things that humans broke!! Oh the
humanity robotry!
How about Jabba the Hutt? He finally managed to catch the douche who cheated him, and a Jedi, keeper of law and order trepasses, tries to mind-control him, then kills his pet!
Jabba has them legally convicted, and prepares to execute them, but those turds break out again, kill him and a bunch of his loyal servants and feed Boba Fett to the Sarlacc.
I could recount hundreds of other instances that prove that Empire was not evil.
Topic: Flaw in Star Wars Plot (Episodes 4, 5, and 6 only) (Read 815 times)
